Notes from a Werewolf
by airyelle
Summary: Lupin is a werewolf and forgets who he is once a month. But what he doesn't forget is what he sees while transformed. Third Year, timeturner scene, moviecompatible. HHR


**Disclaimer: Hi guys! This is going to be a one-shot, unless you tell me that you want more. Not mine, yadda, yadda, yadda. Remus Lupin is the narrator, so to speak, but Hermione and Harry are the main object of concern. MOVIE-COMPATIBLE. **

**Hope you like it! **

Remus Lupin forgets who he is once a month. He is used to it by now. He remembers again once the full moon starts to disappear. But the knowledge he regains is not only of his identity, his friends, family, peers, teachers…

Unbeknownst to most of the latter, Remus Lupin remembers what happens when he is transformed.

He doesn't, of course, remember anything whilst he is a werewolf. However, the moment he returns back to human form, back to being Remus Lupin, he can, like every other werewolf, remember what happened.

Perhaps this is part of the reason why it is so awfully difficult being a werewolf. You have to live with your transformations, and you have to live with what happens during them.

x.x.x

Most of Lupin's transformations were – for him, perhaps – uneventful. He would curl up in the Shrieking Shack. And on days that weren't so great, James Sirius and Pettigrew were there to smooth things over – or, at least, to keep things from exploding all over the place.

Maybe this is why one of his transformations stood out particularly from the rest. The circumstances were fairly unusual to being with, that moonlit night.

Lupin actually didn't realize it was a full moon until it was far too late. Because this night, far too many people who were close to him were in danger. This being, of course, the night he was reunited with Sirius Black.

Days earlier he had been reunited with another old friend – the Marauders' Map. Harry had been careless in using it, although he would have never found Sirius without it.

Harry, however, hadn't needed the Marauder's Map. Sirius had led them straight to… himself. A banged up Harry and Hermione were already there with an injured Ron, who, unknowingly, had brought another person.

Peter Pettigrew had nearly met his death, the chivalry of Harry Potter being its only barrier. Although, his chivalry only extended so far; Harry left him to the Dementors, which was the only reason that Lupin and Sirius hadn't killed him.

They managed to keep him under a wand between the five of them. Unfortunately the moon had been heavily guarded by clouds, meaning that Lupin didn't have the time to get himself back into the Shrieking Shack before he transformed.

Sirius knew what to do and he immediately transformed into a dog, tussling with his old friend (not that he remembered at the time). He was hurting Sirius badly, however, without James to take some of the blows, and Harry, against Hermione's cries, ran over and, at a loss as to what to do, ended up in throwing a rock at the werewolf.

Lupin turned on him and just as he was about to attack, a wolf cry – female – came from within the forest. He abandoned all thoughts of Harry and bounded into the thick trees, towards the sound.

Instead of seeing a werewolf, as he expected, he saw Harry and Hermione, hands held tightly, scrambling over roots.

This confused him, both transformed and human. Transformed, his senses were terribly mixed up; he smelled a person twice – once beside Sirius' scent, the other beside a girl's.

Human, he went to Hermione and Harry, and they told him about the time-turner and how future-Hermione saved Harry's life by the wolf call. Obviously, she hadn't thought about the fact that the werewolf would go into the forest to look for her, so they ran.

A wolf, he sniffed around the clearing for several seconds before the pair, hands still held, backed up towards him.

A twig snapped and both turned round slowly, dreading what they were about to see.

Lupin had growled slightly. Ah yes – a girl – how excellent.

He made to move at her, but the boy grabbed the girl, pressing her against him and spun her around, shielding her from danger.

Later, Lupin couldn't believe what he'd seen. Such a noble thing to do. He couldn't get over how simply caring it was. Harry _cared_ … enough to put himself in danger to keep Hermione safe…or at least, saf_er_.

As the hippogriff reared and defended the two, to the point of Lupin running away, he looked back as he retreated and saw the boy holding the girl carefully, his arms around her shoulders and waist, pulling her close and keeping her safe.

This confirmed something that Lupin had been wondering all year. He noticed it in the Shrieking Shack. The minute that Sirius pushed the door closed, revealing himself, the girl forced the boy behind her, her arms through his protectively, putting up a front for the "murderer" to get through. Harry's anger made him push past her, to try and strangle Sirius – which is where Lupin arrived. Lupin took Harry's wand, and with nothing left to do, Harry went back to Hermione, who, the moment Harry was within reach, grabbed his arm and pulled him to her. She didn't let go of his arm, and he didn't shake her off.

It was rare to see such powerful loyalty in two thirteen-year-olds, although had he been at the school for the first two years as well, he would've seen the same loyalty at the end of the first year, and all throughout the second.

He was reminded greatly of Lily and James, as the two held each other under that tree. They were different in the same way – Harry was the troublemaker, and Hermione was the top-of-the-class smart girl. They were also the similar in the same way. Both cared very deeply about one another, Harry perhaps, cared more about his marks than Ron, reminding Lupin of James, with his good Transfiguration marks, and Sirius with his indifference apart from passing.

Lupin was also powerfully reminded of that night every single time the two gravitated towards each other, hands held tightly, giving off love, strength, and protection.

Of course, Ginny Weasley looked very much like Lily, but Hermione, in essence, _was _Lily. They shared mannerisms, homework ethic, courage, intelligence, and, above all, a loyalty that is incredibly hard to find.

Looks have nothing to do with it. It does not do to favour beauty above all. Brains _and_ beauty – something Lily and Hermione shared implicitly.

They shared something else too – two boys, remarkably like one another.

………………………………………

On Lupin's bedside table there are three photographs. One is of Sirius, who will routinely turn into a dog and back again. The second is of Lily and James, dancing in the autumn swirl of leaves, arms around each other or hands held.

The last is Harry and Hermione, fingers entwined, smiling shyly at the camera. Every once in a while, one will look at the other, smiling slightly or biting a lip, but will look away before the other noticed.

But someone else did. Lupin did.


End file.
